First, a little something for your ear, a true classic.
Sometime back Rachelle Gardner, gave us a glimpse of a what a pub committee meeting at a smallish imprint is like. I thought I’d share the same behind-the-scenes look into the world of an Indie pub committee meeting.
This is only going to give you a brief glimpse, less than five minutes, any longer and you might start proceedings to have me committed.
Me, Myself, I. I & I, playing the roles of:
A boardroom, well actually it’s a kitchen masquerading as a boardroom. The table is made of fancy plastic imported from Ikea; the chairs match the table. Bought with the proceeds from the day job, and some discount coupons from Seven-Eleven.
We’re all (I&I) drinking Suzuki Gold blend coffee and munching on homemade White Chocolate Macadamia nut cookies.
Sales Director: The numbers just don’t add up. I spent more on lunch yesterday than this guys going to sell in his first month. If all goes well we should start making a profit, excluding time invested, sometime in 2015.
Editor One: It’s one of the best manuscripts we’ve seen this year. In fact it’s the only manuscript we’ve seen this year.
Publisher: I’ll agree he can write. How much are dropping on the advance again?
Editor One: Nothing. We own the author. He’s our slave. He sleeps on weekends, the rest of the time we’ve got him at work on creating another manuscript.
Publisher: Good. Glad to see we got the contract side of this business right. How’s the next book coming along?
Editor One: Slowly. Don’t forget we’ve got him doing all the marketing and sales as well. And he’s us when he’s not doing those roles. The words Multiple Personality Disorder have cropped up, now and then.
Marketing Director: That’s not a bad angle. Is that what he’s writing about?
Sales Director: It’s been done. There’s a TV series out.
Finance Director: I understand cloning technology is rapidly advancing. They did it with a sheep.
Publisher: The sheep went insane.
Marketing Director: Now that I could really market.
Sales Director: I could sell it too.
Publisher: Guys, guys, focus. Where are we with the editing?
Editor One: Nearly done. Target date for completion 10th November.
Editorial Director: We outsourced it to an outfit in the UK.
Publisher: Will they use that funky spelling the English have?
Marketing Director: That would screw us.
Editorial Director: No, we asked them to leave it in American English.
Publisher (looks at Marketing Director in the mirror): How’s the cover art coming along?
Marketing Director: Great. Ned‘s sent through some ideas, we’re narrowing it down.
Finance Director: We’ve got to get going. Remember. The Day Job’s Calling.
Marketing Director: That’s a great name for a novel.
Finance Director: No. I’m serious. Time to pack it, wrap it, and hit the road Jack – someone’s got to pay for all of this and that’s me.
So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test